About Experience

Opinions about experience in BDSM

Some people assume that they, or someone else, is an expert, just because they have a long or vaste experience of something.

That assumption may be true in many cases, but seldom when it comes to human relations, where every relation is unique, depending both on the involved parties and the interaction between them.

In BDSM, many both dominants and especially submissives say they don't want to get involved with people new to the scene but prefer experienced partners.

BDSM has got many facets, and experience achieved in one or some of those facets is not necessarily the same experience that a new partner is interested in.

The vague expression "experienced in BDSM" may mean knowing how knots should be tied, how maximum pain is inflicted with a whip, or how to most efficiently break someone mentally.

A dominant with 20 years of experience almost solely in whipping may not be the perfect match for a submissive who wants to be mentally controlled and manipulated.

On the other side, a brand new submissive who adores being whipped may be a far better match for the dominant above than a submissive with 20 years experience and love of being mind-fucked.

Both dominants and submissives with many years of experience in the areas they are interested in may be absolute beginners in areas that other dominants and submissives are interested in.